Crap Sundae (... or Mondae)

(NOTE: I wrote most of this yesterday then finished it this morning. I tried to change all the "todays" to "yesterdays" but forgive me if I wasn't perfect.)

Yesterday was one of those days... 3 big things and tons of little annoyances that have left me sitting in the dark living room of my dirty apartment writing a pity blog while Sarah finishes a paper due tomorrow that she has had the assignment for for 2 weeks.



God bless her... procrastination runs deep in our veins... Nothing like an all nighter to draw the words out of you. Over my shoulder she says "thank the Lord she has an amazing sister who can write..." I guess thats my cue to help.



Those little things were nothing, but the state of utter mental distress I've been in has pushed them over the edge. Its like if you went to an indoor pool at 10am to swim and at 10:30 someone started pushing your head under. Every time you were able to pop up for a breath he would say something demoralizing that you just had to take in stride because you had to save your breath. At 9:00pm when you finally leave the pool, you're fuming mad and totally humiliated and it starts to rain... as if you hadn't had enough water on your face today... RAIN?! Really?! Thats all I'm saying...

The three big things:

1. Has to do with a felony committed right under my nose but to protect the innocent I cannot say more. Really it wasn't that big of a deal but its irritating, scary, and (frankly) was just the cherry on top of my Crap Sundae.

2. Fight over religion in my religion class.

3. "Political conversation" while painting a child's face at Fazoli's.

My blood is literally boiling. Check me out... I'm on fire. I started my day off with an intrusive vaginal exam but that didn't even make my list... what does that tell you?! I realize that vaginal is a "secret" word that turns your tounge into soilified sin, but I really don't care anymore what anyone has to say but me. I've held it in all damn day so put on your rain coat, its comin' at you.



Anyway, I should start by telling you what I did last Wednesday. I was given 45 minutes in which to present to my collegiate level Religion class about a topic of my choosing. I was personally unaware that "of my choosing" actually meant, "be sure to praise Christianity and don't you dare question any beliefs that the students in this class hold true". I thought it meant, "this is a college level class, we are all open minded acedemics who want to learn and push our boundaries". I was wrong. The class is called Religious Violence and Nonviolence. I knew people would present on the Reformation and on why we shouldn't hate all Muslims because of September 11th. (Frankly, I saw that presentation about 5 times while I was in highschool, I thought we had moved on from the Muslims... there are other religions...) Anyway, I decided to really explore something different... question my beliefs and the beliefs of others, allow us to step back and analyze a situation we took for granted by re-assessing the facts. Why is it that we attack and defend so many cultures and creeds and ignore the most obvious, our own! I went out on a limb and presented on the behalf of the Ku Klux Klan, the Aryan Nations, and the Army of God. These are organizations often thought of as terrorist organizations, but I presented the facts I found about them and encouraged the class to lay aside generalizations and entertain the idea that some members of these groups really aren't so bad. This is not to say that I agree with their ideals, but When Muslims blow up the Twin Towers most of us are intellegent enough to say, "Oh yeah, but that doesn't reflect the majority of Muslims, those people are just crazy!" Why then, can't these same people say, "Those KKK members who terrorize blacks may not represent the majority of KKK members, those are just the crazies! Every group has them!"



For the record, I realize that this isn't coming off as intellegent writing... its just rambling-rushed garbage...



Anyway, my point was lost on my close minded classmates though my teacher pulled me aside after class to tell me that my topic was brave, well approached and cleverly presented... he called me a "true acedemic". One particular student of mixed race and Christian faith was particularly perturbed by my speech. I was nervous today when I caught his eye before class but was quickly reassured when I remembered that I was wearing my Obama '08 button today and that he was an avid fan. This tiny pin was my only hope at winning his affection. Unfortunately, todays presentation was made by a VERY conservative Christian who was bashing an Atheist woman. Allow me to reach my point. The presenter was upset that this woman started a lawsuit over the bible being taught and prayer being mandatory in the public school system. She asked for the opinion of the other students in the class. I raised my hand (knowing full well that all but 2 kids in the class hate my guts now...), " I think prayer should be, and is, allowed in public school systems but should absolutely not be required! Requiring prayer and teaching Bible study is blatently unconstitutional, just read the first amendment!" She retorted that she thought the lady took it too far. I said, "She had every right to defend the beliefs of her son. If he isn't Christian he shouldn't have to pray to a Christian God. Also, If bible study is required then study of ALL religious texts should be required." She, along with many other classmates, argued that if their children had been in that school they would have been infuriated. She can exempt her son, but no reason to ruin it for the rest of them! I gave up. One man asked, "I wonder what this lady had to do with instances such as Columbine?" I gasped, my eyes darted at the teacher and he asked "why?". The man said, "Maybe if prayer had been allowed in school the students would have been nicer and better people." I was aghast. Was he really blaming Columbine on an woman who heroically stood up for what was right against a Christian nation? Granted, the lady went a little nuts... but this was ridiculous! I started to argue my point again but quickly stopped. What is the point?! How can any person read the first amendment and know the vast cultural and religious differences existing in America and still believe that the Bible should be REQUIRED in public schooling?! Am I totally off base here?! Why is it that so many uber-conservative Christians are so insistant that their way is the only way and that their beliefs should just be taken as fact, period. Surely they would raise hell if prayer in school picked back up favoring Allah or Buddha...



I called my mom and cried. How will I ever make a difference in this world when everyone is so intent on refusing new information and when they close off their minds with a lock and key?



This leads me to the second biggie today...

The first monday of every month is Kid's Night over at Fazolis and the mascot Tony Tomato is there along with tons of crafts and face painting! Lindsay offers to play the giant tomato every month. Since he will be there anyway I go to volunteer face painting and playing with the kids. Its basically amazing... Anyway, remember my little saving grace of an Obama pin earlier in the day?... Here it comes to bite me in the ass. Some total redneck comes over to pick up his daughter who is 10 with greasy hair and winnie the pooh clothes that don't fit on. He shows us his big cigarrette hack then looks at me and says, "Who do you think is going to win tomorrow?" DAMN! damndamndamndamn! Sarah was with me (picking my brain for the same paper mentioned above ;) ) and she responded, "Obama obviously!" He said "No! Not who you want, who you think will actually get it." I was representing Fazolis even though I'm not on their payroll so I tried to be respectful, "Honestly, In this case I think they are one in the same." This evolved into him talking politics at me- AT me- for at least a half hour. Anyone in the restaurant could attest that I was very polite until he said he was scared of Obama. A simple "why?" was my return. He said, "because he's a socialist!" His 10 year old asked, "Who is a socialist Daddy?" I snapped, "Noone is! Don't listen to him! Thats not fair. I won't get into it here, but thats unfounded and untrue!" Lindsay, who was back in the kitchen at this point, caught wind of all of this and sent one of his employees to ask for me. I relished in the break then went back to get to cleaning up the station, claiming that the manager asked me to wrap things up. He went on and on about the rich needing to pay even less taxes and about how he is middle of the road and Obama is way too far to the left for him. He told me that his Daddy was a Democrat, and that I should trust his opinion because his father once voted the same way I do now. My response? "I don't vote for my dad and grandparents, I vote for me." He got really heated at one point about the fact that Obama won't show his birth certificate. I asked if he really believed that Obama wasn't American. "His old black granny said she was there the day he was born in Kenya!" I held my breath, counted to 5 and spoke, "His grandmother just passed away so speak respectfully. I'm sure they would have caught it at this point if he wasn't an American." I told people later that it isn't as if the government said "Hey Obama, you're American right?" and he said, "Yeah! I'll even pinky promise!" I'm postive they checked and if he wasn't American the McCain campaign would have used it a little more to their advantage. In the end he was telling Sarah how Joe Biden was the Democratic "fail-safe" if something happened to Obama. This scared the hell out of him. I got in my last comment by saying, "For a guy that is middle of the road like you are you ought to be glad to have Biden as a 'fail-safe' rather than Palin. Biden is as middle of the road as it gets in the democratic party and I'd challenge you to find anyone more one sided than Sarah Palin." He didn't deny it but hinted that he'd rather have a far right republican than a even keeled democrat. Anyway... as he left he got really close, looked me in the eye and said, "Tomorrow if Obama wins, congratulations. If not... tough." I shivered and when his car drove off I lost it.

I realize that I suck with organizing dialogue but that wasn't the point. The point was to get it all out.

I spent my day allowing people to shove their ideas in my face without me being able to defend myself and my ideas in good conscience.

I know this is just a rant. I realize that noone probably cares. Its just my pathetic plea for people to open their minds and never stop searching for facts. Don't believe everything you hear- only trust credible sources. Hell, never trust any source. Don't ever marry any idea- allow yourself to be proved wrong.

In the end I know the truth about the first amendment and about how Atheists deserve to exist peacefully just like the rest of us. I also know that Obama is probably going to win the election tonight. I realize that isn't everyones first choice but I hope that they will be respectful if it happens. I've waited 8 years for something, ANYTHING, to go my way politically. We really need this. Of course this is my opinion but if McCain makes it and does a great job, I'll be happy with that too. I'm not going to pitch a fit. However, for now I'm really desperate to have Barack in office. Time will tell... It is only hours away!