One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Part 1

I always knew that my family was unique. We ha “flare!” When I was born I was the only child. I had an uncle with a pony tail, a Danish grandfather, and my dad was a ballerina. The makings for the perfect American family, all we needed was a little baby brother and a puppy! Well, I had a sister, which is close enough, and some ducks... that we raised in the bath tub. Hindsight is 20/20... I should have seen my future coming, but my foresight was foggy. There were so many life events blocking the mortal tunnel that had to take place in order to make me the truly crazy individual that I am now, oh so proud to be.

Allow me to set the scene. I'm in a dark room feeling cold, exhausted and irritated. I feel plastic sheets underneath me wrapping themselves around a twin bed I can only assume is made of concrete. I open my eyes and try to focus on the dingy brown ceiling through the wasted tears settling in the corners of my eyes. I'm bored. I roll over to my left side and hear the plastic pillows sans cases crinkle under my head. The door opens, “Mary C?” Shit. I get up and mindlessly follow the drab woman down the hallway sporting the very latest in back flap hospital gowns and a lovely over starched “blanket” as a shawl. She ushers me into a small room with harsh fluorescent lighting that does wonders for my tear stained complexion. I am met by a kind little man who thinks he has a sense of humor to rival the greats. He tells me he has to ask me some “difficult questions.”

“Birthday?”

“1-26-88.”

“Age?”

“19.” Not very difficult so far.

“Do you see the big, green parrot on my left shoulder?”

With a blank and unamused stare I say, “No.” It's getting more difficult.

“Good, he's on my right!” He gives himself a victory laugh. He is very funny...

“Why are you here Mary?” I've answered this before. Why do these types insist on asking this broad question first off? Anyone who could end up in an institution like this could talk for a year and still not get around to “why they are here”. Hell, the ones with multiple personalities have help telling the story and even they are typically unsuccessful. Luckily, with practice in doing these interviews, I've developed a “schpeal” (if you will).

To be continued...